The way we speak to ourselves constantly impacts our energy levels. Words like ‘should’, ‘have to’, ‘got to’, ‘shouldn't’, ‘need to’, can drain our energy, where as words such as’ choose’, ‘like,’ ‘enjoy’, ‘want to’, can lift our spirits and make tasks feel lighter and easier.
“I have to diet”, becomes “I am choosing to eat foods that give me more vitality”
“We have to leave now or we will be late”, becomes “I would like to leave now so we can be on time”
“I need to make more effort to do yoga”, becomes “I choose to make time for yoga because it feels so good.”
Language is powerful. It can keep us bound or free us up to make choices that empower us. Changing the way we use language is a step towards creating more freedom and possibility in our lives.
Take a piece of paper and write down some of the things you feel you don't like doing but you 'have to', for example; going to work, cleaning the house, washing up, or cooking. List all the 'got to's'; get fitter, tax returns, pay bills, and the 'shoulds'; eat better, drink less, get up earlier etc. etc.
Have a look at the list and then spend sometime writing it out in a more empowering way:
“I choose to exercise because I feel happier when I am fitter.”
“This job gives me the financial support I want right now.”
“When I get up early I can enjoy the quiet of the morning.”
The first step to changing something you don't want in your life is to no longer see it as a burden. Look for the reason why you do it and you will find it gives you more space to make other choices that serve you better (and sometimes that is the choice to simply say no). Or, if you can't change the situation at present you can feel more autonomous by giving it meaning and purpose. “I clean up after the kids because I love it when the house is tidy and the washing up is done.”
There are many ways to feel more positive about your life and choosing what language we use is key to opening up possibilities.